Begin Again (A Chexton Love Story)
by bratskigirl
Summary: Ethan can't rid himself of April's hold and he really doesn't want to. So when Vicki correctly deduces April is the reason he doesn't want to meet her parents, Ethan decides he has only one thing left to do... Go get the life he wants! He just hopes she feels the same way. This is a one-shot, based upon the "Old Flames, New Sparks" Chicago Med episode 4x16.


**Begin Again** \- by Bratskigirl

_**(A CHEXTON Love Story)**_

Seeing her walk away was the final nail in the coffin of their relationship. Vicki had been great, but not quite what Ethan needed… or wanted. And now because he didn't want to admit his true feelings, Ethan had hurt a good woman.

"It's April isn't it?" Vicki's question played on a loop in his head. Ethan hadn't had a response, because he couldn't reasonably explain his yearning for April's presence. Yet his silence spoke volumes and being an intelligent woman, Vicki heard the message loud and clear. The truth was, it WAS April… it had ALWAYS been April. He just kept denying the way her light cracked his armor, and hoped that Vicki's presence would heal his craving for April's smile, voice, or touch. But watching April help little Gavin through his panic attack and giving him good advice for meeting Vicki's parents, Ethan was reminded why he loved her. She was a safe place for lost souls, including his. How could he not love her?

"What do I do now?" Ethan thought. And almost as if heaven had heard his cry, Maggie walked by.

"Dr. Choi? You Ok?" The blank look on his face made her probe further. "I heard you were meeting Vicki's parents tonight. Are you nervous?"

Ethan seemed to come back to reality with the mention of Vicki's name. "Uh… nervous? I'm sorry, what'd you ask?"

"I asked were you nervous to meet Vicki's parents?"

"How did you know I was meeting her…", Ethan paused realizing that April probably mentioned it.

"Honestly Maggie, I planned to meet them, but working with April today, I realized I shouldn't because Vicki wasn't the woman I wanted to build a life with." Maggie dropped her head with a small smile, nodding, waiting for him to continue. "I'm crazy, huh?"

Maggie sighed. "You and April are suited for each other, but you're both so stubborn and bump heads. Then considering you both think you're always right, it makes it hard for you to agree. On the other hand, you naturally fight for each other and would move heaven and earth to protect one another." Ethan shook his head in disbelief… she was absolutely correct. "No matter what happens between you two," she continued as she touched his arm, "the love you share is easy to see and hard to ignore. So the question is what kind of life do you want for yourself and what are you willing to do to get it." And with that challenge Maggie walked away, hoping Ethan would finally take the leap and build the life he wanted with the woman he loved.

The Hideout club was an active spot during the week, but pulled a more 'grown and sexy' crowd Friday nights; which was very visible by the line of fashionably dressed women outside the door. As Ethan began to approach the end of the line, he saw Noah leaving. "Noah?"

"Dr. Choi? Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you had plans tonight?"

Ethan chuckled slightly, realizing that April was probably more bothered by his plans with Vicki than she let on. He hoped that was a good sign. "I did have plans, but your sister messed that up for me," he answered smiling. "I never stood a chance, did I?"

Noah laughed out loud. "Hurricane April always overwhelms, but you're still standing so you got a shot."

"Well I don't if I can't get in." Ethan complained acknowledging the line. Noah smiled and winked.

"Carlos?! He's with my sister. Let him in, Okay?" The doorman nodded. "Old family friend. April is at the front, a table by the stage."

"Thanks man. Appreciate it." Ethan smiled, patting him on the back and hastily proceeded into the club.

The club was at capacity, but he followed Noah's instructions and moved toward the stage. And there she was. April could look fantastic in anything, but the color emerald always sang against her skin. The halter top had an open back, anchored by a dangling gold chain, that forced your eye to her teardrop butt so perfectly draped in skinny jeans. While he gazed at her from afar, a man approached April, sweeping her up into his arms and causing Ethan's heart to fall. He realized she never said she wasn't meeting someone there, she just invited him to come. Ethan turned to leave, but then he was reminded of Maggie's words- "what kind of life do you want and what are you willing to do to get it", and with that Ethan proceeded to the front table. April's friend strolled away as Ethan approached her from behind.

"Ethan?!" she replied shocked at his arrival. "What are you doing here?"

Ethan grinned. "Well you did invite me."

"Of course, yes, but I thought you had plans with," she paused "ugh, with Vicki and her parents." Ethan stepped closer to her, placing his hand on her hip.

"We did. But um… I decided it wouldn't be fair to her, when my attention was elsewhere." And taking advantage of the shock settling on her face, Ethan grabbed her other hip and pulled her into him. "I wanted to spend time with you more. So, I decided to take you up on your invitation," he stated so close to her, April could feel his breath cruise across her lips.

"Oh," she paused, "I'm glad you made it. I think you'll enjoy the music. My…" Suddenly the music started and April began to chant with her friends. "Nico! Nico! Nico! Nico!" Ethan sat down and watched April dance and bounce around as the band played, especially beaming with pride at the lead guitarist. He had come too far to let some random musician to take his place, so Ethan stayed and waited.

Two hours later, the set was over and April's friends had gone- it was just him and her.

"So did you enjoy the band?" Ethan knew that tone. April was trying to make small talk; which meant she was nervous for some reason. And as the guitarist emerged from backstage, Ethan thought he understood why.

"I did. The music was cool," he responded looking at the approaching heartthrob, "but I'm guessing you enjoyed it more." Ethan coldly nodded in the direction of the leather clad axman coming toward them.

April looked like she was planning to explain, but once again she was embraced and swept up off the floor. "You did so good, Nico! I'm so proud of you." The man put her down with an extra squeeze and gently kissed her cheek.

"Thanks Starr! It was so great for you to come!" Nico noticed the man behind her glaring at him. "And who is this?" he asked stepping around April, face to face with Ethan. Ethan answered before April could explain his presence.

"Ethan Choi. April and I work together." Nico's eyebrow rose.

"Choi? So you just work together?" he paused. "I mean because you look a little angry…" Nico continued while April began to pull on his forearm, "… like I stole your woman or something." His smirk set fire to the rage that had been building inside Ethan, but before Ethan could strike Nico, April stepped between them.

"Ethan! Nico is my cousin!" Ethan stepped back as if her hand had electrocuted him, while Nico let out a hearty laugh.

"Well Starr, if you ever wondered if he still felt anything, you know now." Nico moved April aside and extended his hand. "Hello Dr. Choi, I'm Nico- April's VERY married cousin."

Ethan dropped his head in shame, but shook the hand extended. "Sorry man. Nice to meet you." Nico smiled in understanding.

"Ok cuz, I need to get home before Isabelle and the baby fall asleep." April smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Give her my love and kiss my little man. I'll try to stop by Sunday, because Mommie is making Brigadeiros."

Nico's eyes lit up. "Really?! Tia's Brigadeiros are the best and Isa loves them. You better make sure you come by, because I AM going to tell her." He hugged his cousin, shook Ethan's hand again, and left. And as the room continued to empty, April looked on Ethan peculiarly.

"What?" he asked.

"Ethan, what was that about?"

"Honestly?"

"Of course. Please."

"I changed my mind." April looked perplexed. "After working with you today and you caring enough to give me really good advice on meeting Vicki's parents, I realized why I had fallen in love with you. And still am. So, when I saw Vicki, I couldn't lie to myself or her any longer, it wouldn't be fair." April's jaw dropped at Ethan's admission and no matter how she tried, no words would form. "You look surprised. You didn't suspect, I mean, considering our history?" Her silence was glaring. "April, did I misread our interaction?" he paused. "Please say something."

April blinked furiously, but Ethan did not see the water in her eyes until she spoke. "Did you say that you love me?" Ethan chuckled.

"Yes. That's what I said. How do you feel about that?"

"Ethan," she exhaled, "I…" Before April could explain, Ethan had closed the gap between them and pressed himself and his mouth upon hers. The kiss that initially was shock and awe for April, quickly became an inferno of passion, one in which both of them almost forgot they were in public. "Ethan stop." April admonished, while pulling away from his lips.

Ethan halted his advances immediately. "Ok. Sorry. I'll leave you alone. Just let me make sure you get to your car safely." As he turned away, Ethan felt April's hand in his.

"Ethan, I don't want you to leave me alone." And Ethan turned instantly engulfing her in his arms again. "Wait. I think we need to talk first."

"Talk?"

"Yeah talk. We never had issue with our physical connection. It was the other areas that seemed to give us the most problem. And no matter how we feel about each other, if we can't find a way to make it work, then we shouldn't waste any more time." She touched his face. "Do you understand? I can't take another blow to my soul like I did when we broke up. So, I think we really need to have a forthright conversation first. Agreed."

"Agreed." Ethan smiled, but inside he was nervous. He appreciated all of April's nuances, even the ones that he didn't always understand or frustrated him. Yet, he had to wonder if she felt the same about his idiosyncrasies. She may decide he isn't worth the pain, but he had to try.

"Tonight? Or another time?"

"Tonight's good for me. Coffee?" she asked kissing his cheek.

"Coffee." He answered leading her out of the Hideout, and hopefully into a new future with him.

They went to TEEKS Diner, which was where they'd go after a long extended shift, and ran into Ms. Virginia- their favorite waitress. "Drs. Choi-Sexton! It's so good to see you."

"You too Ms. Virginia. Can we get our normal booth?" April asked looking around the half full establishment.

"Yes you can." Virginia set up their booth and coffee, while she placed their orders.

"So," he hesitated, "what do you want to talk about?"

April took a deep breath and lifted her eyes to meet his. "First, I want to say I love you too. I always have and that isn't going to change." He smiled and she had to look away before those dimples messed her up. "But we both know, love isn't enough, which is why I'm concerned about trying again."

Ethan loved how straightforward she was. "I considered the same thing, asking myself what would be different this time? For which I can say one difference is me- I'm different. I try to listen now, to other points of view, even if it's not my first instinct." He noticed a smile dancing across her lips. "I'm not perfect at it, but I make the effort- NOW."

"I've seen it and it's wonderful. You're even getting better at not TELLING people what they should do and let them decide themselves."

"True, but when I love someone my overprotectiveness kicks in and it's hard for me to stand by doing nothing, when harm is coming their way. Being a protector is my nature and the Navy made it even worse." She nodded. "I know in those instances, it can seem like I'm trying to control everything and everybody, but I'm just desperate to make sure nothing bad happens. Not sure I could take it if it did."

"Ethan, your strength and passion for those you love, are reasons why I love you. And if I'm being honest, when you're overprotective, I feel special. But," she paused, "when you're feeling helpless and desperate to protect your loved ones, you forget that I'm your partner. I'm the soldier fighting with you, not your child. Treating me like that makes me feel like you think I'm less than you."

"I'm sorry that isn't my intention."

"I know, but it's hard to deal with sometimes. You can't make decisions for US, unilaterally." Ethan gave her a gentle accusatory glance. "It's not right for either of us to make decisions unilaterally for us as a couple."

"Agreed." He laughed.

"So, what do I do that bothers you?" April asked, almost dreading the answer. Ethan saw her visibly tense and was secretly happy she cared enough to be concerned.

"Most of the things that bothered me, did so because you made me come out of my comfort zone and face things I liked locked away. But over time, I could appreciate how your openness had rubbed off on me and how my patients became more open as a result." April's hand covered her smile bashfully. "On the other hand, I did resent how it seemed like the rules would change based on what you wanted at the time." And with that she dropped her head and hand. "Look at me," he implored her and April raised her eyes. "Like with Emily. You would chastise me about using tough love, but when I was compassionate like you and did what I thought you would, you left. Or like when we work together, you don't mind my opinion as long as I agree with you. If I disagree, you accuse me of overlooking your intelligence and sometimes I was afraid that I couldn't disagree with you without running the risk of losing you. I own that I didn't always voice it correctly, but how do we handle that?"

"You're right. I didn't realize I was doing it so much, but that wasn't fair to you. Often I think doctors see nurses as just an extra pair of hands, when they may have a perspective that should be considered. I take it personally when my opinion is overlooked, when I should've been grateful you were even willing to listen to it." Ethan touched her hand, encouraging her to go on. "So, in the future, I'll do my best to not take it personally if you don't agree with me, as long as you're willing to still discuss cases with me. Deal?"

He kissed her knuckles gently. "Deal."

As their orders came, April continued. "As far as Emily, I initially pushed you to reach out, because I wanted you to have familial support like I do. I'm so close with my family, and that support is priceless to me. I wanted you to have that too. I also wanted to see how you would interact with our kids, if we had a family." Ethan's brows furrowed. "Would you allow yourself to be soft when they needed a safe place to hide? Or would you only be distant and a disciplinarian?"

"I can see how you'd think that, but I would never be like my dad with our kids!"

"I know that now Ethan." She assured him as she rubbed the back of his hand. "Truthfully, I knew when you told me you were bringing Emily home with 'us'." Confusion settled on Ethan's face, so April expounded. "You were correct in thinking that's what I would've done. There's almost nothing I wouldn't do for my family. So I was proud of you that day. But I guess I never explained why I left after that, huh?" Ethan shook his head. "Yes, I was angry that you made a unilateral decision for us, without consulting me. But the other reason was because she had hurt you and put you in a tough situation; which made me want to protect you from her. Forget disappointing me, I didn't care about me. I didn't trust her to not hurt you anymore, so I wanted her as far away as possible. I loved you more than myself and she'd proven she didn't feel the same, so I was NOT going to give her free access to MY family. I didn't care who she was!"

Ethan placed down his fork and wiped his mouth before he responded. Maggie was right- they'd fight to the death to protect the other. "So, if you didn't trust that she wouldn't hurt me, why'd you leave?"

The rose color of shame climbed from April's chest to her cheeks. She could not hold his gaze, which uncharacteristically made him MORE comfortable. He felt reassured that she was just as concerned with his interpretations of her previous actions, as he had invested in hers. "You chose her. I was hoping you would fight for me, as silly as that sounds. Or at least push for us to not break up. But you didn't. So, I figured I had gone too far or you didn't love me enough to still want to build a life with me. Then you almost died, and I realized that life was too short to waste any more time, but when I got to your room- Vicki was there."

"I didn't ask her to come," he interrupted. "She was still the emergency contact for me. I had forgotten to change it formally. And when Maggie told me later that you risked your own life to save mine, it made me love you more, but by then you had already seen Vicki."

"It's Ok. I understand." She sighed. "But with her presence, my insecurities came rushing back, especially when others started comparing me to her- because you're aware… she's a beautiful Navy doctor. And once again I felt like you were pulling further away from me, so I focused on being professional, because I at least had that. Then you implied I was petty and even killed a patient; which didn't make it better."

"Oh God, April, I really am sorry for implying that you weren't professional or killed a patient. The truth was I missed having you with me, knowing what you were thinking, and I responded by trying to hurt you like your absence was hurting me. Can you forgive me?"

"I forgave you when you first asked, but it took me some time to clear the hurt it caused. It hurt me so bad, because your opinion of me matters. So when you imply that you think I'm the type of person that would kill someone, or harm a patient to get back at you, it just showed me how lowly you thought of me and I couldn't take being around that. It was just too much to bear."

His heart was breaking when he finally realized how much he had hurt her with his accusations and the trickling of tears from his eyes would not let him hide it. "April, I am so sorry!" he cried in anguish. "I never meant to hurt you like that and won't ever do that to you again. You are one of the BEST people I know, and always have been."

"It's OK Ethan." She reassured him. "It made me really face my feelings for you… my love for you. It hurt so much, because you obviously didn't love me anymore, and I had to finally begin accepting that. So, spending time with you repeatedly wasn't going to help that process at all," she admitted.

"Well, you staying away helped me too." Now it was April's turn to furrow her brows. "Yeah, because I had to experience a life without having my best friend; my lover; my voice of reason; my peaceful place, right by my side and it was HELL! I tried having Vicki fill that role, but I realized that she let me just be, which is fine, but she didn't challenge me. Vicki was comfortable and it was easy to be with her." Ethan saw the light in April's eyes dim, and he realized she didn't understand his meaning.

"Being with Vicki would've been fine, but it would've been average and uneventful. I wouldn't grow into a better man, nor would she require me to do so. You always challenged me to be a better person and come out of my comfort zone. You required me to open my heart in a way that didn't feel safe, but rewarded me so much more for the risk. Because of your influence, I was comfortable showing compassion to people, without feeling like it made me look weak. I was better with you and I want to be better again."

Ethan's thumb carefully wiped her tears from her cheek and she smiled broadly. "So, we're agreed that we both love each other and want to try again?" He nodded in agreement. "Ok, so what do we do now?"

"Well, I think the best thing to do is to lay down some ground rules, especially in how we deal with work and home." Immediately her nose crinkled up in disgust. "Yes, we need to set some boundaries, so nothing and no one comes between us again." Her smile lit up the diner and once again he was basking in the radiance of the love he missed so much.

So for the next few hours, the couple cuddled together in their booth, crafting the rules that would govern their work and home life. The first and second being, "no work is brought home" and "we make decisions for US together- not unilaterally". Additional rules were added to remind them of their partnership- soldiers fighting for the love and respect of the other. While other rules were designed to settle disputes. They both seemed to revel in the agreed upon method for settling a disagreement, for which they immediately tested out, when Ms. Virginia laid down the check.

"Um, what are you doing sir? I asked you out for coffee, so I pay." It took him a minute to read April's attempt at contempt for him reaching to pay the check.

"Oh, well, I'm a man and you shouldn't pay for me." He growled, smirking all the while.

"But it's acceptable for me to wait on you barefoot and pregnant at home?!" He was so confused, as her argument didn't make any sense. "What? Are you disagreeing with me?" she asked as she stifled her giggle and smirked at him with piercing eyes.

"Uh… yes, I'm disagreeing with you. So, what now?"

April raised the list of rules and pointed at number 7. "When we disagree, we don't go to bed angry. Instead we focus on PLEASING the other person, until we can talk through things rationally." Ethan was elated at the thought of being able to focus on her pleasure- until they could think rationally; which for him wouldn't be any time soon.

"Well pay the check woman so we can go and settle this argument!" And they both laughed heartily.

Having her in his bedroom felt like all was right with the world, but for April it felt off. They'd been kissing all the way home, which is what she'd considered his place, until she walked in. She could feel Vicki all through the air, especially his bedroom, and it brought her to tears.

"April, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Sorry. It just hurts to know some other woman lived in this place with you… my place, my home not too long ago." Ethan lifter her chin, while gently rubbing her back.

"April, yes Vicki spent a good amount of time here, but she never 'moved' in. You were the only woman I SHARED my home with. Ok?" She nodded as she wiped away her tears. "But I could imagine, if I walked in your place and knew another man had been there, I wouldn't feel comfortable either."

A tiny chuckle escaped her lips. "You wouldn't feel anything, because no other man was there." She stated exiting his arms and causing him to wonder where they stood. "However, since we have a disagreement to settle, I'm going to use your guest room until WE decide the changes to the Master that will make it all OURS." She stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, mimicking him. "So, Dr. Choi… are you ready to settle this?" And in two giant steps, Ethan had crossed the room, thrown her over his shoulder, and proceeded to the guest room to pleasure her into rationality. And once done, they collapsed in a guest's space, taking in all that had been said and being sure of the future they planned.

The next morning, when April exited the bathroom, she found a pair of scrubs on the bed, with a note. "The hospital called and need all hands. Thought you could use these." April smiled, while quickly getting dressed. She noticed the note was on the back of the napkin they wrote their rules on. And when she turned it over, she saw that Ethan had added one other rule. "We promise to love each other more each day, until forever takes our breath away." She loved it when he was romantic and sappy!

And as they headed to the hospital, fulfilled in their new found love, they agreed to follow their own rules, and… **Begin Again!**

The End.


End file.
